kiryous caps

10 claimable caps.
no dollars accepted.

Each cap carries a phrase someone actually said. Earn one by doing the thing on its label.

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slop. cap

slop.

— for the engineer who let the agent drive. all the way into prod.

inserted a purple gradient into a production kibana or elastic-owned website. evidence: live URL + your name on the commit.

claim  → 1 purple gradient
sandbox cap

sandbox

— for the engineer who got SLT to nod.

got SLT approval and shipped the addition of sandbox steps to the workflow runtime. link the approval thread and the merged PR.

claim  → SLT yes + ship
increasing revenue cap

increasing revenue

— for the engineer who closed the deal without being in the call.

your feature was the deciding factor in a $500k+ new contract or expansion. evidence: signed quote + a sales lead naming the feature.

claim  → $500k closed
distilled. cap

distilled.

— your taste, productized. shipped 30 times.

your distilled-self agent quality-reviewed 30 PRs in a month, with author thumbs-ups on the review threads. link the runs.

claim  → 30 PR reviews
beboppin'… cap

beboppin'

— vibe-shipping. the trailing dots are load-bearing.

shipped a kibana feature from PRD to prod in under 72 hours, smiling the whole way through. demo video must contain audible humming.

claim  → ship in 72h
ship it. cap

ship it.

— the only correct two-word response to a working PR.

landed an agentic kibana fix under $10 — single PR, end-to-end, claude run + tokens included. show the invoice and the merged commit.

claim  → 1 PR < $10
yalla, let's go cap

yalla, let's go

— momentum, in two languages, at once.

took a roadmap item that had been blocked for 3+ weeks and shipped an unblock in under 48 hours. before-and-after jira status, witnessed by two engineers.

claim  → unblock in 48h
benevolent cap

benevolent

— our one and only benevolent dictator.

not for sale. not for credit. not for negotiation. it's his.

claimed by an Elastic teammate can't buy
young, scrappy
and hungry
 cap

young, scrappy
and hungry

— founder of the operation. ships at a personal cost-center deficit.

not for sale. not for credit. not for negotiation. it's his. like the project itself.

claimed by an Elastic teammate can't buy
what it do? cap

what it do?

— tin's opener for every zoom — somewhere between "sup" and "good morning".

not for sale. that one's tin's. it shipped to madrid the moment it left the embroidery machine.

claimed by an Elastic teammate can't buy

Distill your own cap from your real phrases.

npx @kiryous/caps/distill-me@latest

Coming soon — your phrases, your face, your drop.